In order to save a dollar a million times, you have to be able to cut back on anything that is not absolutely necessary. Grocery stores can nickel and dime you to death. It all adds up, you know, so you just gotta cut back on anything that you can avoid buying.
You know what I don't buy? Mops. That's right.
I have 2 reasons for this.
1. Mops don't get the floor clean enough.
2. Mops are something that you have to buy over and over again.
If you buy a mop, you gotta keep buying the refill mop heads. Then when they break, you have to buy a new one. This gets so frustrating, that a person can wind up spending loads of money on the best new fangled mops and swiffers that come on the market.
I just got sick of it over a decade ago and I switched to the scrub brush method. It's what they use in a lot of restaurants, so that's what I use.
I cook a lot, and food tends to get stuck in the floor, I have found that this method gets the floor cleaner than the mop method.
All I do is spray the floor with the sprayer (Or dump water on the floor if the sprayer breaks)
Then I squirt a little Dawn on the floor and scrub away.
Then I wipe it all up with a towel.
Here's the tightwad wood floor cleaning method.
Pour some Murphey's Oil Soap on a wet towel
And then rub the soapy wet towel all over the floor.
It covers more surface area than a Swiffer, and it's cheaper too.
That's just one of the many ways that you can save a few bucks at the store.
If you don't like my scrub brush, then you can just shove it up your butt!
This guy did. His name is Mr. Grey.
You might not be able to see it from the picture, but he had a stick shoved up his rear.
Oh? I guess you think that I've got just a tad bit of angst towards authority figures. Well, I suppose I do, indeed. You want to know why? Well, I'll tell you why.
It is because of all the anal retentive history teachers, such as this one, that I could never make higher than a "C" in a freaking history class.
Every time I got back a graded history assignment, it would be covered in these little red marks, all over it. He would circle all the places where I forgot to put a comma. He would count off for improper grammar. I guess someone forgot to tell him that he was teaching a U.S. History class and not second grade grammar.
This one time, Mr. Grey commented on my homework. He said that my handwriting was sloppy and I needed to make all my letters the same size so he could read my homework without getting an aneurism in his eye balls.
That's when I got this terrific idea. You see,my dad had nice handwriting and I always thought that it was because he wrote in all capital letters. So I wrote my next homework assignment all in capital letters. I was so proud of myself because it was the neatest assignment that I had ever written. I thought that maybe I would write in capital letters from then on. Boy was I wrong.
When I got that homework assignment back, Mr. Grey counted off points for every single word in that homework assignment.
Mr. Grey lived in a big purple house and had 14 grown children. He woke up every morning at exactly six o' clock and he didn't own an alarm clock. He just woke up all on his own because he's soooo perfect. I can tell you all about Mr. Grey and how he feels about the way the women of the nineties dress.
I know nothing about U.S. History because I always remember all the wrong things.
I also know nothing about History because all the History teachers that I have ever known have put all sorts of trick questions on their tests to screw with me and make history far more difficult and complicated than it actually is.
Loads of people make things harder than they have to be. Especially when it comes to saving money.
If you want to save money, don't cut coupons, don't drive around town and waste your time hitting all the sales. Keep it simple. If you want to save money, then don't spend it. Then you don't have to work as many hours and you can spend your free time doing things that you actually do enjoy...like drawing on your little brother.
You know what happened to Mr. Grey?
He retired at the end of my Freshman year of high school. Isn't that just my luck?
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